medium.com/@sailorhg/coding-like-a-girl-595b907... "Coding Like a Girl" <- I can't 'like' this enough, please read.
it's the decision I have made long ago in our lyceum - a firm belief that clothes a person wears (doesn't matter whether it is a skirt or a pair of pants) and other external social conventions don't change and don't define the kind of person it is.
At that time it was a strange kind of "teen maximality" I guess, double negation - when everybody (okay, you two - see, I'm honest) was fighting social conventions, I tried to prove that you can be "a wolf in a sheep skin". And I did.
And then came the Service... with a whole new set of rules and social pressure, but it felt "kinda ok", since I already knew that the way I dress doesn't define me, so why should I care. Personally I don't care about fashion at all and I have a really low patience limit when it comes to an actual clothing shopping. In the end most of my stuff has been bought by my parents without me for various occasions or excuses (trips, work, work trips, trip work, all the excitement of living out of your suitcase).
Where I'm coming at - but these questions here in Switzerland based on my outfit really throw me off. For example, if I wear a dress - "Are you going out tonight or something?", why does it matter? And a whole lot of other perception issues, I will not try to repeat the article (I've actually found it after writing this), I think it covers the issues quite good. Feels like pressure, surprisingly.
On one hand, I once have already complied with a social convention, I can do it again, but it feels strange. If the first decision was a mistake, this will be a mistake as well. If it was not a mistake, why should I comply? Something like "Who are you to fucking lecture me" on the way I dress?"